I had been thinking about a missions trip for a few months. I just felt God speaking to me and urging my heart to seek this out. I went on my churches website one day and found the mission trip coming up next! I was scared about the fees for the trip. I was in charge of getting the money together to go for myself. It was a lot of money for me and I wasn't ready to pay it myself. I asked people to donate to my cause but it was not many people. I went to one of the meetings for the trip and I was $1,500 short. I prayed that God would calm my heart and provide. Days after I prayed that prayer a good family friend asked my parents if I was still needing money. Without knowing what I needed they wrote a check for the exact dollar amount! If that isn't a work of God I don't know what would be.
This was just the beginning of how God showed himself to me. I believe that missions trips can bring you closer to God in ways you could never imagine. Purposely putting God first and serving others opens up a whole new door.
Next, I was at work on friday taking in the fact I was going to be gone for the next 1.5 weeks. Then all of a sudden everything seemed to glaze over. It was like I got dizzy and was seeing stars. I had images popping into my sight of my Pastor. It went on for a couple moments and then I came back to my normal vision. It didn't seem real it was like I had a dream but I was wide awake. I collected myself and was on my drive home. I was alone but I felt a presence over and around me. I felt happiness like I never had before. I felt a warm embrace, someone was hugging me I could feel them pulling me tighter to me. I started to cry tears of uncontrolable joy! I got home and mom asked me why I was crying and all I could tell her was "I just feel so happy". Thats again when I knew God was right with me.
We were supposed to leave on monday. I had visions of my pastor who was supposed to be going on the trip with us on Friday. Sunday we found out he was very sick and was not going to be able to make the trip. I realized God was asking me to pray for my pastor before he even got sick. I wish I wouldv'e known then thats what was happening.
The day came it was time to leave and get on a plane for the first time ever! I still didn't really know anyone so I was pretty alone. However, as scary as it was for me I had a peace about it. We boarded the plan and I sat again on my own but I didn't feel scared. It was a long flight I didn't sleep much at all. We finally made it to Guyana and it was a culture shock for me! It took awhile but we finally made it through customs. They loaded us on a tiny van and we drove (If I had to guess 4 hours) to the house we would be staying. Most of us slept right when we got there and woke up for our first call to duty that night. There was a women's meeting at the church. Keep in mind I really had no idea what I was going to be doing on this trip. After the service the guests (Me and several other women) were called to the front to pray for these women of the village. I had never prayed out loud for anyone in my life. When a woman was given to me to pray for Anxiety hit and I felt like I was going to faint. Yet again, God stepped into this moment with me and it wasn't a perfect prayer by any means but I did it. The ice was broken for me and a new spiritual door was opened just in the first day of this trip!
The days following consisted of going door to door praying for families throughout the village from morning until lunch time. We also spent every evening in a church service to celebrate the anniversiary of their church. I was tested in many ways. Still surrounded by a group of people I didn't know well, and really missing home. God gave me the strength to keep giving to these people. I could not have done his work on my own. He gave me the strength to set myself, my own feelings aside to serve. He can do this in normal every day life to. You don't have to travel across the world to experince his power or to do his work.
Many other things happened on this trip but I will say this was another big moment for me. Our pastor was finally able to make it down to us towards the end of the week. Sunday came and we were going to be visiting another church several villages away. Pastor Kevin asked us to prepare a testimony to share in front of the church.
The first thing I thought in that moment was "Nope not going to happen your crazy if you think i'm doing that".
Seconds after those thoughts raced through my mind The same feeling in my heart I got that day on my car came back. My heart raced I felt like everyone in the room could hear it beating. I felt a purch, God spoke to me and said "Dani you can do this, and you will do this for me and my glory I want to use you to touch these people" I got straight to work on what I was going to share. My time came and I stood in front of that church and spoke about my struggles with self harm. I poured out my heart and explained how God pulled me through the toughest times I knew. I cried because it was hard but so many people clapped for me and thanked me for sharing. God pushed me to share for the first time publically the struggles I had and it opened yet another door for me to start working through it, to not hold it in anymore. I learned more people needed ot hear it than I thought.
I wanted the share a song we sang with the church group the day of their church celebration!
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