I want you to get a feel for who I used to be so you can better appreciate who I have become.
God brings Man-Woman to the end of themselves so he can step in and say "Let Me".
Growing up in a christian home I knew who God was always. I never questioned his existence. I just questioned if He truly had plans for me like everyone said He did. I lost many friends from elementary school when transitioning to middle school ( audit got even worse through high school) which pushed me at a young age to pursue boys. From 6th grade until the day I met my husband I indulged in relationships with boys. I always felt I knew what was best for me. Constantly trying to fill the emptiness inside of me with these toxic relationships. I became extremely depressed to the point I was cutting myself daily. This crippling loneliness and depression went on for 7 years. Until one day it hit me like a train coming head on. I needed to accept love from the creator of love; Whose love never ends.
Letting go to let God
After many years of putting myself through heartbreak after heartbreak, cutting up my own skin to struggle to figure out how to deal with my mental instability ; I chose life. When I turned 19 I came to my wits end. I knew that every choice I made on my own drug me down lower and lower. I opened my bible for the first time in a long time. The words God had been waiting for me to read were nothing short of what I had been wanting to hear.
1 Corinthians 13:4- "Love is patient Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, It is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.
It always protect, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres.
Love Never Fails."
Finally after so many years of wondering what it was I was missing that left me feeling so empty inside. I felt the never ending rush of love coming right from the well of Jesus' heart.
Since that day I've never felt alone, depressed or unworthy. Every step has been better than the one before it. A joy, a Happiness like nothing I've felt on my own accord. He truly will carve the way for you and he will place you right where you need to be every time. Only if you truly put all your trust and faith in him.
Please Take a moment to listen to this song that touched my heart. "Beautiful" Got me through so many nights when I fought to overcome the harmful thoughts and actions I held against myself.
Comments